Unity Ceremonies

Unity Candle Ceremony

#1

It is now time to light the unity candle. The candle lighting ceremony
symbolizes the joining together of two souls into one spiritual
partnership. ________and_________, please come forward.

These flames represent each of you as an individual, as the light of
Spirit that you innately are. It exemplifies the authentic being with which
God created you and it is the true gift you offer to each other.

Now, each of you will lift your single candle and draw them together
as you both light the unity candle. As you let the flames merge,
envision your individual lives forming a unified life, a life joined in love
and purpose.

But as you set down your individual candles, do not extinguish them,
for in marriage, neither of you will need to sacrifice yourself for the
other or for the relationship.

Rather, I want you to consider a higher intention ¾that when you let
your own bright inner light shine, and when you are totally true to
yourself and God, you bring the brightest possible light to your
relationship as a couple. And, this is the greatest form of support you
can give each other - to allow each other to be who you are, without
taking advantage of the other. This is how a marriage flourishes and
stands the test of time. By allowing your individual candles to remain lit,

you are intending this to be so.

(Can be used in addition to the Unity Candle ceremony)

I would also like to suggest a wonderful use for your unity candle
as your married life continues through the years. I suggest that rather
than placing your unity candle in storage, that you place it somewhere
on display in your home.

When you have a misunderstanding or some difficulty comes between
you, one of you - it doesn’t matter which one, but one of you,light the
candle. Let it be a signal to the other that something is amiss between
you and that you need to schedule a time to reconnect and clear the
air. Then when you sit down together, before you speak, hold hands
and look into each other’s eyes.

Before you say something that you know you will regret, remember the
vows you take today. Don’t let pride, or anger, or resentment build up
between you. Remember that there is nothing that can ever come
between the two of you that cannot be forgiven. Let this candle be a
constant reminder of the love as you share it today.

#2

Ancient sages believe that for each of us, there is a candle, a symbol
of our own inner light that was bestowed upon us by the Creator.
These two single flames represent each of your lights…a light that is
individual and unique.

________…take this candle, the symbol of _________'s inner light,
which was lit at the time of her creation.
________…take this candle, the symbol of _________’s inner light,
which was lit at the time of his creation.

In your marriage, you will strive to bring these lights, the symbols of
your inner selves, closer and closer to each other,
until they become one great torch of light, a radiant symbol of love, joy,
peace and harmony.

Yet it is vitally important to remember that even though your lives are
united in this light, there are still two single lights within your union,
each with his or her own desires, yearnings, dreams and wishes. And
these must be respected and responded to with great love, profound
compassion, and with genuine tenderness.

May you continuously light these candles of unity and individuality, so
that the memory of this ceremony will forever live in your hearts and in
your home.

Sand Unity Ceremony

The separate lives are symbolized with two vases of sand, in different
colors. After the exchange of rings, the bride and groom pour their
individual colors of sand into one vase. Their flowing together creates
a design made by the couple as they share their first experience of
unity as husband and wife. The newly formed union is represented by
the intertwined pattern of sand created by the couple This symbol is
then the keepsake of your wedding day.

(This part for use on the beach)

As you stand beside the ocean tide, may your love always be constant
as these never-ending waves that pour near your feet, flowing
endlessly for the depths of the sea;
Your love came softly upon each others heart, just as the foam comes
softly upon the sand, and just as there will never be a morning without
the ocean’s flow, so there will never be a day without love for each
other.
You have pledged yourselves on this day your love will be dependable
as the tide; as these waters nourish the earth and sustain life, may
your constant devotion nourish and sustain you until the end of time.

(Can be used anywhere - included in the beach ceremony)

_______ and _______, you have just sealed your relationship by the
giving and receiving of rings and the exchange of a kiss, and this
covenant is a relationship pledge between two people who agree that
they will commit themselves to one another throughout their lives. The
most beautiful example of this partnership is the marriage relationship.
You have committed here today to share the rest of your lives with
each other.
Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two
individual containers of sand one, representing you, _______ and all
that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the
other representing you, _______, and all that you were and all that
you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of sand
are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand
will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these
grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the
individual containers, so will your marriage be.

Water Unity Ceremony

This ceremony is traditionally performed at the end of the wedding
ceremony. The couple each has a container of two different colors of
water. Together they pour both their containers into a third vessel
creating a third color which is representative of their union.

Wine Ceremony

The bride and groom each take a carafe of wine and pour it into a
single glass, which they both drink from. A nice touch is to have the
bride pour white wine while the groom pours red. The rose' can then
be served at the reception...perhaps during the toast.

Garland Ceremony or Lei Ceremony

The bride and groom exchange garlands of flowers. This is a common
part of Indian weddings, where the ceremony is called varmala or
jaimala, and represents a proposal by the bride and acceptance by the
groom. It also represents their new unity, blessed by nature. In
Hawaian weddings, the bride and groom typically exchange leis. The
families may also exchange leis with the couple. Leis represent the
love and respect you have for the person you are giving it to, and the
unity of the new family.

Family Medallion Ceremony

If a parent gets remarried after a divorce or the death of their spouse,
they may decide to have a family medallion ceremony. After the couple
exchange wedding rings, their children join them at the altar. The bride
and groom will then give them a token of their united love for them.
This could be a necklace, a pin, or any other gift symbolic to the
couple.